Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Regrets Regrets Regrets
somehow today we kinda talked abt ahgong.... and how we din go visit him on sundays after we started goin to church... especially me... and it was really suddenly STOPPED..... he muz have missed us.... missed us terribly.... since i used to go every sunday and he wud tell me stuffz... ask me get stuffs from e fridge... get drinks n stuff so we have things to munch when we went.....
regrets terribly how little i accompanied him in the last parts of his life..... and i was even kept in e dark of his condition at first... and wasnt even allowed to go to the nursing home when he passed away, even tho i practically wailed n lose total control of myself dat my mom have to hold me by my cheeks and tell me i cant go and he's old and its only natural he has to leave.... i lost total control n i can vividly remember wat happen tho i dunno how i lose control. sigh.... i gave more time to others than him.... him who loved me the most.... when i was small..... whose hands i held when he brought me to the market near his hse whenever i went there.... and bought lil gacha toys for me... stuff... and the old man downstairs who sells the malt candy..... datz my childhood.... where he holds a great part... even more than anyone else besides my parents....
yet i failed to accompany him except for when he was really drained..... then did i realise i did not have enuf time..... i do tink abt him now and then... and all the anguish i felt when he left abt the other stuff.. the way e undertakers did things.... i felt like bashing them....? and i did not even manage to get a proper last look at him.... and they sealed the casket up.... arghhh....! it made me upset... darn darn upset. its been more than a year already..... i still tink of him frequently even tho i dun say so.... but today we juz kinda started talkin abt him..... me... and my mom..... and it started with an umbrella.... how i miss those lil walks to the market.... well, guess enuf flashbacks for the day i suppose...
tmr's a PH.. gonna have breakfast with my parents coz its been months since i last had 1 with them.. since mon-sun i dun get to eat breakfast w em hm... pathetically sunday as well... eversince my sis married coz i din wan them to wake the same time as me juz to eat with me n drive me to church... i have legs... i dun wan them to specially wake up juz to eat w me... dun wanna deprive my dad of the only day he can sleep in as well.. since i know how terrible it is to wake early everyday.... =/ =/ n boy do i dread it......
made new specs... myopia down.. astigmatism up up up! took a long time to find a suitable one and in fact the lens size gotta custom make also... lol...... took e ger a long time to help me with e stuff.. measure e lens.... den find a frame... checked out oakley ones but dun suit me rahz.... terrible...
too much too furious pc lookin.... time to restrain abit and my router died on my bro lastnite.. lol... seems like i am becomin tech support at work n at hm... =/ errrr... time to go revise my work also... wanted to start at 11 but kinda got delayed... coz suddenly someone came got me thinkin...well, nt abt my ahgong la but abt sm other stuff......
and sometimes i really no like u.......!!!!! bleah. nuf said....
Jie crapped at 11:36 PM
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Thursday, September 25, 2008
Bored Stiff?!?!
While waiting to repark my vehicles in Parking Wars.. i actually went to do some quizzes on Likeness!!!! OMT.... i muz be bored stiff... rOFL.... but kinda realising dat things i place on top are quite similar to some of my frens de larZ..... lol.... hmmm....
had dinner with ash,pol and will earlier.... dat ashleyyyyy!!! when will wanted to go home... and said in chinese he have to go back n eat med ler... den when we exited kiddy palace... ashley suddenly wanted to hold my hand...... and walk along beside me... =____=" when we reached the escalator she wun let polly carry also..... only wan me.... i was like.. OMT.... hope she wun expect me to go home with her n sleep with her n play bah? but then.... when polly told her i had to go home liao... she juz kept quiet n let go of my hand... and waved when asked to wave goodbye to me... =) she really grow up liaozzzz.... =D haha.... guessed she knew it was abt time i had to go... so she wanted me to hold her hand n carry her before i leave... haha... dat ger ah!!!!!
wat she used to do? CRY N CRY N CRY N CRY.... Chase me into the bus interchange.. and run back to her parents.... and run to me again.... stuck in between dunno wan to go which side..... and end up cryin n cryin with her parents.... ROFL.... datz ashley..... so kelian when she cry lor... hAhahaha.......
now..... gettin cheeky.... and more sensible le... haha... draws quite well also... hAHa... haven ask her to draw me yet.... nxt time maybe.......
Jie crapped at 11:37 PM
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Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Toxic Milk with Melamine Content
well, the current hoohaa on the news is all abt the dairy products and toxic milk with melamine content found... really dun understand the people sia... its been said that they have been receiving complains on their milk from 6 mths ago and they have found the produce wudnt normal and YET THEY DIN DO ANYTHING ABT IT? until every thing was blown world wide... then watz the point sia? oh my tian.... moral ethics where? business ethics where? dUh....
its all been thrown down the drain.
kena migraine yday.... oh well....survived with med liaoz... la.. better today.. yday slept like dead whole day... not totally unconscious dat typa sleep but some sorta still aware of things happenin in e surroundin dat sort.. wasnt good sleep. my mom woke me ard 4 plus to ask me wat time i had to go to school and it was abt time to prepare so i got up... ended up.. i went to sch by bus and feel it comin back coz i din eat my own med but some normal painkillers my boss passed me in e morning.. and it wasnt time to eat my own one...
soooooooo..... ended up i took cab home during the break.. and slept ard 10 plus.. till this morning.. and ate med again today coz the feelin is still there n my head feels shaky still.... i hate this kinda feelin man.... its been so long since i last had an attack...
i guess i activated my triggers.... the main 3 which i know..... lack of water.... chg of weather.... and lack of sleep.. i hit all 3 the past few days....... =/ arghhhh... and i ate alot of peanuts on sunday..... at centre i got a pack of wasabi peanuts which i shared with the youths... and before the food was served at the weddin dinner, i ate alot of peanuts with sammie coz we were hungry....!!! and i din drink much water on sunday. =/ sickening..... and i din sleep enuf since fri.... and i was alr sneezing and feelin under the weather since thursday!!!!!
so i kinda neglected my own health lar!!!!! serve me right dat the migraine monster came back n hit me.... =/ hai.... yday kept puking and kinda got dehydrated so today kept feelin thirsty.... now much better... but still feelin kinda weak..... tmr long day... will sleep soon...
Jie crapped at 10:48 PM
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Monday, September 22, 2008
SAD RAHHHHHZ
i AM SAD RAHHHHZ!!!! went my cousin/godsis blog... saw her post pic of ELVA!!!!!!!!!!!! and hor.... its the "concert" at MAX pavillion... itS FREE ONE... ALL ALONG I TOT NEED PAYYYY!!!!!!!! BO JIOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sadddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
SADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD RAHHHHHHHZ
er.... i dun love elva really.. but i juz love seein her... HAhaHAHAHA.....!!! i only like certain of her songs... but its a weird sorta LIKE... actually i also dunno wat i talkin... juz like to see her in action rahZ.... =/ her older songs i like better... news songs not really........
SADDDD.... CHAO ZHUANGWEILING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! smaCK u.... no wan give u bday present riAOZ. =x
Jie crapped at 12:42 AM
today wasnt a bad day... went to shermin's dinner. =) =) =)
she looks pretty rahz.. nana too. =) kinda met up with my colic to go tgt n was surprise samantha came along too.. =) hAHh... cracked lame jokes on e way there...
left my auditing notes on my colic de car... too heavy... brought to bind at ZAp IT today.... dunno wanna revise my notes abit anots... at the verge of fallin sick again.. been sneezin alot the past 3 days...... brought my nasal spray out today but glad i dun have to use it... but i suppose i wud have to..., if i dun wanna fall sick again..
reason why i dun wanna use it is not becoz i dun take care of my health but that it usually causes me to lose my sense of smell after constant use... yea.. datz why... it causes my nose to be not sensitive... to dust, to watever.. to smells.... certain smells my nose also cant take it rahz... dat type.... dat i dun like rahZ... Pet shd know wat smell i refer to. =x hehehehhe... =p
so datz it rahz... my hair is till wet... mayb i shd go read abit before i slp... cant slp too late also.. tmr got class... =( sad rahZ...
tues dunno needa go eat with pastor ashley anotz.. dat time no go eat durian with her.. and she said wanna eat with me n wl when her husband comes.. so he's here but juz dat we dunno when suppose to eat with her... =) shes a nice person... i've been out with her once only but i also dunno why she say i am fun n funny... =_____=" and polpol told me she seems to like me alot. hAHA... =x hmmmmmmmm....
today felicia's sis n fren sat on my leg n play psp rohz... actually i dunno her fren well.. rofl.... felicia's mom say i'm like the character in a kids story who blew a piccolo and the mice followed... so dorcas n her fren is my mice rahzzz... n i started callin her my 老鼠 =p anyway datz all for e nite.. time to do some readin.. be it studies or books. read more.. know more... do more... say more.....
Jie crapped at 12:21 AM
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Thursday, September 18, 2008
U make me depressed
my day was fine fine fine... u make me depressed.. not one person but a few.... argh
why cant i juz have a peaceful day....
maybe i should isolate myself for sometime...
sneezing and headachy....
i dun wish to see anyone for the nxt few weeks or months?
neither do i really wish to talk to anyone anymore... well except for mayb 1 or 2
Jie crapped at 9:57 PM
today as i begin my usual work day.. with my songs in my pc.... beginning with christian songs....... and this 2 weeks... with songs from Faith the inspirational.......
suddenly a thought came up my mind...... my parents are not saved yet... they have not received christ as their redeemer and savior..... a compelling sadness came upon and and my eyes became watery.... somehow.... i dun know why... i felt i have to do something... my dad... my mom... my brother.... i have not thot abt wat to do yet... but its a reminder.... i suppose its a reminder from my heavenly father.. that tho i am saved, i should not 4get abt those ard me... especially those whom i dearly loved...
Thanks be to god who reminded me.....
Let it be a reminder to you too... if u have family members who are not saved.
使徒行传帮带１６：３１
当信主耶稣, 你和你一家都必得救.
Ａｃｔｓ１６：３１ （ＮＩＶ）
Ｂｅｌｉｅｖｅ ｉｎ ｔｈｅ Ｌｏｒｄ Ｊｅｓｕｓ， ａｎｄ ｙｏｕ ｗｉｌｌ ｂｅ ｓａｖｅｄ － ｙｏｕ ａｎｄ ｙｏｕｒ ｈｏｕｓｅｈｏｌｄ．
Jie crapped at 9:30 AM
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Tuesday, September 16, 2008
GuEsS wAT?
GuESs WAt.... somehow i realised my OUTSIDE friends has more initiatives then my churchies.... pathetic aint it? they are always the one who find me... to do what... ask abt me.... be it calls, sms or on msn... ask me to go out.. sadly to them i usually reject.... frequency of meetin em... half yearly? the one or 2 studyin w me.. every week... if not... it takes juz as long to meet.
my churchies? call me only when there are things to be done... to convey and to help? datz wat happen most of the time.. except for less than 5 of them? a pathetic figure.
its sad n tiring to always be the one askin n askin and doin n doin...
do i love them lesser? No i dun...... i do the things i do coz i love em... and not coz of anything else...
in certain things... it doesnt really justify... i suppose my friends of 8 and 10 years are still better..... juz dat i cant go to them for advices that wud please God.... but i can definitely count on them more when i am really down.. to go out with me.... and juz sit with me.. even if nothing is said......
its not whats being said but done... if its not even being said... den its worse.....
oh well.. time for bed... set a bedtime for nights b4 the day i have school.
Nite Buds... bEsTieS... of 8 years and xhz.... u're missed... even tho sometimes u choose tv... =) but u're one who does care with actions. =)
call someone not juz dat u dun wan to be alone but dat you enjoy your time together....
Jie crapped at 10:15 PM
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Monday, September 15, 2008
nothing much
oh well... work was not bad today.. had some drivin errands and quite relaxed... i did a parallel parkin at the road side in geylang!!!!! and in 1 attempt... perfect park!!!! hehehe.. ages since i last tried one... and there was rocher beancurd there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! heAVENLy SMOOTHHH~~~ melts in your mouth siaaaaaa.... it juz happens to be downstair of where we went to send the books. HiAKZ.. been missin it for ages... the prev time was like few yrs ago????? =x thgs dat cost 1.20 can be heavenly yea????? hehehehe... love bean stuff.....
packin my stuff to get ready for sch... its really startin.. i'm not lookin forward to it... but wat needs to be done has to be done. =/ so there it goessssss....
tired. lack of sleep due to the abundance of people who has problems ard me.. givin a listenin ear... or shd i say... a reading EYE nowadays.... talkin till 2am lastnite... and dunno wat time e other days.. since last week...aint 1 person.... but its alrite.... 我是讲义气的 tho the ratio of u helpin me is much lesser... it doesnt really matter to me...
time to clear some mess n sleep.
Jie crapped at 9:56 PM
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Sunday, September 14, 2008
BEtter~~
enjoyed myself this 2 days i went to the stephen tong gospel rally... =) even tho at the west part of the stadium bo lang de.... hahaaaa.... w3 leader is cuteeee.... sms us n wished us happy zhong qiu jie.. HAHAhA!!! hmmmm.... the message is REALLY INFORMATIVE larZ... asked gab to join but he doesnt want to, due to some reasons... but anyway its alright.. he said he might be goin to service with his sis today on fri so i'm gonna check out with him if he went... and if he felt anymore stuff.... thgs hasnt been really goin smoothly for him... e other day we chatted till quite late which we haven done in a long time... not dat things are goin smoothly for me... but then again i'm not dat bad.....
oh well... i almost lost my handphone yday at the stadium coz i drop it on one of the seats... thank god somebody hung it on one of the armrest of the seats in the central seat areas when we gathered for the briefin for the Q&A session... =D =D =D =D glad glad... wanna say heng arh.. but then again... nothing is heng or suey de... all planned de.. but juz a phrase dat we are so used to sayin... thanks be to god and to the dear person, who i dunno... who hung it on the arm rest... THANKKSSSSSSSSSS... heartfelt thanks. =)
almost cudnt wake up today coz i was really drained, sleepin late the past few nites.. and i am soooo gonna slp now.. but smone msg me on msn. =_=" wednesday sch startin so i am gonna sleep earlyyyyy..... muz make myself even if i cant.... muz chg my lifestyle so dat i can absorb better... =) =) JIAYOUZ~!!! oh yea.. and he din go... =___=" hmmmmmZZZ.. =/
jiayou meixuan also.....!!!! my dearest charlene!!!! and Melissa too!!!!!!!!!
GANbAttE-nE!!!!!!!!!!
gotta sleep lerz.. suddenly started sneezing continuously.... =____="
Jie crapped at 11:55 PM
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Thursday, September 11, 2008
Love it
For ages of lookin at the purple ipod shuffle.... thinking a purple nano might be out... some time.... after waiting n waiting... they finally came out with the purple one!!!! with some other new colours....
I love the shade of the purple shuffle rohZ.. wonder if its e same shade...
8gb for SGD248.. its not really a bad deal raHZ... juz dat i have a whole load of other things to get before i really consider this... den again.. its long.. i kinda like the prev batch of nanos... not so long n more compact siaz.... juz dat no purple. =( shall wait until the perfect one shows up.
i'm in love with purple stuff..... not every shade tho... in love with the color of my psp too....
someone juz "scream" at me sayin.. NO MORE GREEN STUFF please..... not long ago... so purple is here!!!!!!
waiting for the right moment to get the purple bag~~~~~
wait wait wait.. i am always waiting... for the right moment...
Jie crapped at 3:11 PM
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Wednesday, September 10, 2008
DEPRESSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED
ok... today i am ultra depressed..... haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
D - E - P - R - E - S - S - E - D
yea... DEPRESSEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDddd.....
nothing seems to be helping rite now....
nothing u say goes in...
deflated... depressed.... degraded... depleted... drained.... disappointed....
wateverzzzzzz.....
hAI.. none left to say.
Jie crapped at 9:31 PM
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Tuesday, September 09, 2008
HuH?!?!??!?!
today the "who is jesus" thingy ppl called me on my mobile while i was eating with my colic..... and she spoke in chinese... and asked for YUANLI... AIYOOOO.. how come call my phone ask for melissa sia.... ROFL... ended up she missed call me.. and redialed the same number... askin for melissa... *faint* rohzzzz.. hahaha...
so she kinda told me where n wat time to meet blah blah blah... and asked for e size tee which we bought... for a majia... i ask her wat is majia.. den she also dunno say wat.. i also dun understand.. but i guess is like a vest or watevers larrrrr... majia sia... sounds like some kinda armour.... hAHAHHAHAHAHAHa.... =x *shrugs* my chinese is bad.... i ask my colic.. and she laughed at me.. coz her chinese is worse n yet i ask her... ROFL... anyway tiring week.... tmr gotta clear work stuff....
bleah bleah bleah.. my life is so freaking boring.. and its gonna get worse nxt week onwards... oh mannnnnnnn..... sigh....
to my dearest dearest dearest dearest dearest felicia.. u can finally stop askin me when my school is starting coz its starting.. and i can finally study with u again yea? happy liao rohzzzzzz?!?!!
brand new beginning.... WORK HARDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD... gab has some problems yday.. i have some major problems as well.. but its been settled so far i suppose... tho it might not be the best way... oh well.... time for bed.... its midnite
Jie crapped at 11:49 PM
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Monday, September 08, 2008
hAIz
SIANNNNNNNN n SIANNNNNN n juz more SIANNNNNNNNzzzzz....... today went to school for nothing... haiiiiiiiiiiz.... wanted to pay my school fees but had some problem.. so gonna pay tmr mayb.... sigh.... being in school again makes me feel kinda SIANNNNNN.... schools startin nxt wednesday.... feelin very emoooo abt it.... dunno... feelin kinda siannn... haven start already startin to feel tired... juz when i tot i cud rest enuf to store enuf sleep.... i fell sick 2 week before sch starts... and cough.. and cant sleep well... endin up.... feelin drained due to everything..... datz crap aint it? all the sleeping early and such... before all these... has turned to nought..... yea... sometimes life can juz be this crappy...
wat to say and wat to do? theres nothing much to be done alsoz... talked to SL last week and kinda realised somethg abt her nick... it was MY "classic" quote when i was in poly... why care who cares nobody cares.... live like hell and die like a saint... saints usually live a life like hell... datz so terribleee.. den they die off being remembered as a saint... yea... datz about it? dat was my email signature for almost the whole of my poly days... shes feelin kinda crappy also lately larz... gonna meet up for her bday but both of us aint free... until mayb e last weekend of sept... sigh...
the antibodies are fightin fightin fightin... seems like they were winning.. den they kinda slacked abit and e virus wins abit.. makin the body feel drAINEEEEEDDDD...
well crap. crap. crap. crap. and crap.. its rainin heavily now.. i cant open my windows coz e rain came in... =/ stuffy room? how am i gonna slp later??? i cant on the aircon alsoz.. darn... haiiiiiiiiiizz... rainy days are suppose to be nice to sleep in... today's not my day.... everything sorta went wrong... or should i say.. everything usually goes wrong for me....... =/ =/ =/ sigh.. nothing ever happens right.... true it may seem that things happen coz there a lessons to be learnt.... but then again... it killsss sometimes... in the process.. dUh... wat am i talkin abt? sigh...
theres ppl persuadin me to take RM1T instead of uO1.. coz its easier... am i gonna give up without even puttin up a fight? not now... not now i suppose... its not even a proper fight.. much as i am being persuaded... i dun wish to stop now... even tho i'm not sure if i have enuf self-discipline.. and there are ppl ard me askin me to take uniS1m which he says is even easier to pass.... coz his fren ish inside.. and passin is a breezeeeeeeeee.... arghh... do u know its very unmotivating to hear all sorts of commments... comin out from ppl beside u.. ppl takin e same stuff... ppl who are not even taking... concerned it may seemed... but very very very not encouragin yea? very very very very very very very very NOT encouragin... is dat it? is dat wat u're suppose to do? tear down? build up? *shrugs* sometimes i dun understand u.... u seem soooooooo .....
not talkin abt 1 person in e above paragraph.. its a few few few few few.. yea.. a few... i am tired.. i am bushuang.. i am upset.. i am unhappy abt things.... today.. yday... last week... watevaz.... at myself?
Jie crapped at 9:59 PM
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