Sunday, October 18, 2009
Its Thinking Day again
Its thinking day again i suppose? for some reason i'm thinking rather much today.. maybe due to the nap i had, plus the coffee i secretly drank earlier. =x anyway its been a tired week.. got home rather late after class on thurs.. slept oni after 1am... had a headachy friday nite... but managed to get DPF's presents ready as well...
anyway today was a public holiday, much awaited as im rather tired and saturdays i have to work so its kinda crappy i hardly get any rest. oh well.. today dad's at home... he saw the cross i left on e table and asked me whats dat... i just say u dunno meh.. and he say i baptised liao meh i said no.. den he din say anythg much also... juz now ard 11 i took my things out to the living room to revise and he ask me tmr no need go church ah.. den i say of coz going.... who say no need... den i say go church also can stay up read wat.. he juz mentioned can dun go de wat. oh well enuf said.....
lately have alot of thoughts goin in my mind.... office gonna be shifting soon so gonna be busy packing all the stuffs... and gonna be busy with some other stuffs as well.. e nxt couple of months is gonna be tiring and i have classes on sundays so i tink i will be rather drained.... constance quitted liao so sigh... nobody to play with me liao... the 2 new sales are guys and i'm not really into talkin to them yet though 1 of em rather ok lar.... =/ well... all new ppl around now except me? i tink i have high adaptability....
lately have the feeling to wanna be more guai and study abit... true enuf i can dump my burdens unto the Lord but as a student i cant very well wanna pass without doing anythg mah. dats a dumb thought. without even tryin how can u say u fought a good fight... without studyin, failing is inevitable.... for all my life i guess i never really put 100% of what i can do? for studies, i've not sure if i've even put 50%.... in secondary school i oni study before my O's seriously.. before dat i'm like floating and swimming ard? in poly i dun even know how i shd measure it cos i juz go to classes and not do any tutorials. for my classmates they shd know all my tutorials are zapped from suleng, my bestie... i oni study the night before and i'm the sort dat starts maybe in the evening and sleep ard 1 or 2am when i find dat i am tired... and i managed to pass all in 1 attempt except for statistics? well.. failing that one made me rather DEPRESSED as i've felt such a failure before? i'm not saying all these becos i feel proud of how a sluggard i am.. how much of a slacker i am.... but i feel rather regretful and sorry cos i could have done better and theres no REWIND button in our lifes.... Lifes is FULL of REGRETS they say and how true that is... Times and times people would tell themselves... i could have done better.. if i knew blah blah blah.... Life is FULL of regrets but what we can do is MINIMIZE it....
well... i'm tryin to minimize mine.... so i'm tryin to learn to study.... tho obviously in my whole life i have no such habit of studyin but i have the habit of playin games..., etc... other regrets i'm tryin to minimize as well is to spend time with my family.... well, u dont know how much you love them until u lose them.. all i can say is that........ well.. i dun need to lose them to know i love them in my case.... after my ahgong passed away ard 2 yrs ago bah.. =/ which i regrettably felt a piercing pain in my heart that i use to visit him every sunday before i went to church but after that i stopped... i could have visited him after church but regrettably i chose to hang ard.. for my own sake... to have fun... or go out with ppl instead.... he must have missed us.... when we suddenly dun visit him anymore. seriously i feel badly guilty abt this but i 've let go of these ler.
i dun feel that my life glorifies God at this point of time but i'm workin towards it... as a student i shd glorify him by workin hard for my studies.. which i'm tryin... in doin this it would also please my parents... not dat i wanna please them but its something i should do since i've decided to study in the first place. well.. by not doin what we're suppose to do we're definitely not glorifyin his name... by doing wrong things we're reflecting badly of ourselves to other ppl? By words we may be something but by actions we're another thing? It doesnt justify.... it doesnt glorify..... Neither does it reflect well on all of us.... sometimes, its rather pointless to explain certain things to people for they do not understand your point of view.. sometimes its easier not to get into pointless arguments for there is a time for everything and when it comes, you know its time for you to say what you're suppose to say.
thats all.. i guess its time for bed.... did some practices and theres some stuff i aint sure so gonna check it out tmr..... its been awhile since i last blogged and this one is a rather long one but its just some random blabbering over here...... time to head off to bed and take a peek at kimberly b4 dat. Nite......
Jie crapped at 1:12 AM
----------
