Tuesday, April 03, 2007
bAh~~~!!!! sOme tHgs n thAnkS too!
i haven been slpin much since last week from my trip and i muz admit that i shd be sleepin now but i came here coz of some things i saw and some thgs dat occured... neway haiz.. i am really tired.... i dun mean now.. but juz tired of certain things.... not dat probing will help... it doesnt really help when u're really sick of somethg.... esp when more than one person probes at e same time.. no.... u're not makin it nicer nor makin it seem like u care.. no it aint... to me, it feels like u're juz forcin me to a corner... it does not work dis way... humans do not react nicely to such confrontations... i'm nt sayin u dun care... but it juz doesnt feel really nice dis way lorz...
to e someone whom i've always felt comfortable with, when i'm down.....i appreciated it when u listen... gave me advice and try to understand from my point of view... and respect my decisions when i do some things... not now.. not once... but in everythg i do... appreciate e times u listened when i'm down... the company u've given me when i'm in e dumps.... and i do really need those at times even tho u may not be ard everytime.... u dun have to say things to make someone feel better... juz the existence and presence helps alot yea.... well.. there are still ppl who dun understand the true meaning of presences.... or mayb 存在 sounds better ba? sometimes when i tell dis to ppl..., they find it funny... well, mayb i do tink in a different way but i really feel dat its a kinda feelin dat cannot be describe with words... its not wat u say dat matters but ur 存在 is in fact the main reason why ppl feel soothed when they're down or upset... sometimes... juz e presence or existence of somethg is enuf to lighten someones mood.. not sure if anyone understands dis kinda feelin but to me its kinda beyond words describable. =P THANKSSS.....
well... "glad to be able to lighten up ya mood a lil..." some quote some where somebody.. =P
oh well... i'm juz sick of certain things rite now... and its not like avoidin will help.... i understand... everybody knows the model answer to everything... thats how i feel.. i do know the model answers.. i do know what I SHOULD do... but am i suppose to do things to please PPL or whom shall i please? everybody knows e answer on wat should or should not do.... but however aint e reason behind the actions are more impt? i do admit sometimes i say things that are really bad... and somebody said to me... 你变坏了。nah.. it aint dat way... its not dat... its juz dat i dun wanna do things juz simply coz ppl bug me to do it... u can bug me to do things... to say things... but do u wan me to fake em out? i can talk crap say lame things to entertain u... but honestly sayin, who wanna take dis kinda rubbish manz...
bleahZ~ feelin really tired dis few days.. almost fell twice today.. dunno if i'm gettin flu or if my old fren, mr migraine is showin up soon.... wateva it is.. i hope i can dong over all dis crap.. much as i hate being sick.... i hate it to drag over weeks and accumulate..... wateva crap dis is... either u come or u juz scram... dun make my days miserable... its such agony havin to battle with all dis kinda gonna sick feelin and everyday feels like ur battery is drained and leakin away... well.. its been long since i had dis kinda headachy feelin where my eyelid thumps and twitches inside... arghhh.... it makes me all pissed havin to tink abt it... if i feel drained e nxt few days, den my old fren is comin for a visit ler... i shd be like a zombie for e comin week... may god bless u dat i will not flare at u coz i am really grouchy and irritable when i have dis kinda feelin... or mayb i shd juz keep myself away from ppl.... =_="
Jie crapped at 12:18 AM
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