Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Whirlpool of Thoughts
are there any times that u seem to get a whirl pool of thoughts in your mind that u keep thinkin n keep thinkin and keep thinkin? that u juz cant seem to get ur mind to stop.... thats kinda wat happened to me today... well, i'm nt feelin totally well today lar.. stillgot my headache brought over from yday.. but newayz i had alot of thoughts in my mind throughout the day.
well, i was thinkin abt alot of things.. i'm not sure if its becoz of what i heard yday or what, abt my 'couz' but neway i feel kinda upset yday lar... so today i tink alot.. even tho i had a headache the whole day.. at least it wasnt e very bad kind lar... neway i felt i haven read enuf abt God's Word lar... datz what i felt today.... i have kinda a few books on hand and 2 which i stopped halfway juz coz i din have e discipline to read... and i wasnt really a readin kinda person... wellwell, in the 1st place i have e books coz i was interested in some things inside... which kinda made me get e books from campus crusade e other time.. but i juz din have e readin habit and theres always alot of things that keep me away from e books lar... haha~ well, one of e books ish abt anger management i tinkz... haha...
i'm not sure whether u agree with me on this but.. i do feel that with people who are closer to me... i do have higher demands from them and thus havin a lower tolerance to the things that they do that does not please u..... i'm not sure if u get my point... but its like... when u're closer to a person, ur demands outta e person are usually higher and u expect more from them.. thus if they do somethg eitherwise, u get upset or angered easily? well, not sure if its my logic but i do work that way.. or i shd say.. my brain works that way.. the more the person means to me.. the more i demand outta them... not referin to anyone in specific.. but i mean in my family i do realise i do have a lower tolerance of things for em coz at times i do expect them to understand more n also a lower tolerance for acceptance of things thats displeasing to myself. oh well... juz sm thoughts lar.. neway i feel dat it shdnt be e case n dat i shd chg...
3rd thought that came into my mind today while bathin juz nw, yday we had e photograph session with FLN n e whole tq lar.. XXX n XXX (names censored coz i dun wish to pt names) requested to take a pic with me lar.. neway dis thought came to me juz now lar... i was kinda remind that i should remind em to come for tq de and not juz do nothg abt it.. i mean... its kinda sm reflection day today for me lorz... *pEnGz* well, tho i'm not totally aware abt e current reason she aint comin.. but e previous i do know abit lar.. and today de ME... felt that dis shdnt be wat i'm doin lar... oh well.. a sense of RESPONSIBILITY came upon me today lar. dun ask me why but neway, dis shd chg as well... i shd make it a point to ask her to cm on saturdays.. even if she doesnt cm... remind me if i 4get....! but i do hope i will remember.. i'm nt sure if we've neglected em but neway it shd be chged!
well, challenged myself to finish readin e book dat mmy gave me durin xmas... i'm only up to ard 80+ pages n i challenged myself to finish by next friday... and asked her to help me along with it by askin me if i finished on nxt saturday.... wellwell, with a lil stress frm her i guess i shd be able to make it dis time? and also get to read my other books? hopefully ba!!!!!!
tots: lets not talk the talk but walk the walk also........!!!! i wanna be a more disciplined person!!!!!!!!!!!!!! help me if i falter!!!!
Jie crapped at 1:06 AM
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